Thursday, December 23, 2010

Top Chef 8:04- You Got Served

Dear boys and girls, I am back and ready for action. I am sorry for the near five month hiatus but now I am done with school and rowing and all other things that distracted me from my true calling and I am ready to be a recapping machine. I am also back home at the moment where my parents have this lovely thing called cable. This means i do not have to wait a WHOLE 6-12 hours after the airing of a show to watch it.

Now onto the meat, wow Top Chef was great this week. Not only did it have tons of drama, but also the one liners were phenomenal.

Coming off of last weeks double elimination everyone was all tense so they decided to leave the stew room, graciously over-stocked with alcohol, to go to a bar where it seems as though everyone is drinking out of coffee cups. Did they go to the bar to drink tea and relax? It would think doing that in the comfort of your home would be more relaxing, but what do I know about the stressful life of a reality star.They did have some cut apples at the bar to go with heir coffee and tea.

Casey is telling Jaime how shocked and bummed she is that Happy Dale is gone, while no one seems to be aware of the absence of Stephen. I forgot how much I loved Casey, she makes me so happy just looking at her.

Quick Fire Challenge: So this weeks challenge is to make a stuffing. The twist: no utensils at all. The upside to the twist is that the winner gets immunity and $20,000. I think it is getting a bit ridiculous the amount of money this show is giving away and it is not just because I am jealous. All the chef are freaking out about what to do without their utensils especially Fabio who equates it to a surgeon saying “Ask a chef to cook without a tools is like to ask to a surgeon to do an open heart surgery with only his finger.” Maybe you are right Fabio, but the difference in that in one case someones life is at stake and the other there will just be uncut food. He proceeds to grate cheese on a food rack which both he and I agree are ingenious. Red Head Tiffany uses a pepper mill to cut up her chicken and Carla is trying to beat an onion with a pan. Tre ends up winning getting immunity and 20 thou which can help him because apparently his two daughters are expensive.

Some more great sound bytes from this Quick Fire
“I feel like Tom Hanks in the Castaway right now” from the lovely Casey. But unlike Castaway, and luckily for us, there is actually dialogue here.

Carla:“This is is un-donte quinuo”
Judge Tom: Why al dente.
Carla: No, I said un-donte... do you need some floss

ELIMINATION CHALLENGE: This weeks the chefs are going to be in teams competing head to head for the prize at the US Open stadium in the one and only Flushing, Queens. I love watching tennis, me and my family used to go to the US Open when I was younger and use our binoculars to spy on other people in the stands instead of watching the matches. Also when Andre Agassi was playing we would try to find Brooke Sheilds in the stadium. Oh, the good old days. Also my dad grew up in Flushing, my grandmas lives right outside of Flushing, so Flushing, Queens is near and dear to my heart.

Anyway, back to the show, they pick tennis balls to determine teams. They say that there are orange and “yellow: balls, but I really think those “yellow” balls are green.

 The groups go into their separate for meal planning and Angelo starts talking crazy strategy and stuff I do not understand. What it comes down to is that Angelo and Spikes team decides their strategy is to put their teams weakest dish out first. They keep talking about this strategy which obviously makes me think that something is going to backfire.

In the kitchen there is some high drama. Surprise surprise something is going wrong with Jaime’s dish. Oh and there is another cut finger, but this time is it Carla and like a good team player she stays to finish her dish. Also Fabio is making gnocchi (another shocker) but the mixer isn’t working so he has to make it with “his own little hands.” Angelo is thrown a curveball when his fish is “mucusy” which I think sounds delic, but he gets Tiffany to lend him some of her fish.

And then comes the Quote of the Episode when Antonia tells us that she “never played sports in highschool. I smoked alot of pot... and did nothing else.” And now I love Antonia even more than I did before.

They get to the US Open main stadium and the teams are set up on different sides of the court. They got the jumbotron to read the scores of each teams and it looks like this is a big deal. The judges walk out onto the court and Padma is wearing a nice short khaki pants a blue tank and a blazer, but all my eye can look at is that crazy ass necklace around her neck. That is a lie, I also am looking at her legs, but when she is sitting all I can see is her necklace.

They call up their first dish and Jaime is not ready to serve and freaks out when her teammates want to go out first.

Round 1) Fabio v. Casey- Fabio runs around like he just won the open when he wins the point for his team

Round 2) Dale v. Tiffini- Dale has to go out because his dumplings are dying and Marcellus is pissed.

Round 3) Marcel v. Angelo- Also Dale is pissed that Angelo served his meal on a spoon again. My question is how can a meal served on a spoon give an athlete enough energy for a tennis math. That definitely would not be enough to fuel Isner or Mahut at the Wimbledon this year!

Round 4) Antonia v. Tiffany- The judges are split between the dishes it was a 3-2 vote for Antonia. It was probably all the weed she smoked in HS that made her such a good chef.

Round 5) Spike v. Richard - Angelo is adding shit to Spikes dish and it is not longer the dish he imagined. Also no one likes Spikes shrimp which is not surprising because he made it at the last moment.

Round 6) Tre v Carla- Jaime is nowhere to be found so they cant really serve her dish. If I were on that team I would have just screamed out Jaime’s name anyway, I can handle Jaime’s wrath. Also Angelo cooks Tre’s salmon to the point that it was over cooked.

And Team Orange won the challange and Carla won a 5 day trip to Italy. Carla went from serving “un-donente” quinoa, to having Dale say her dish is not classy enough to cutting her finger to winning a 5 day trip to Italy. Way to turn things around for yourself Carla.

On the short end of the stick Team Yellow has to go to elimination. Jaime is saved from elimination due to the fact that she DIDN’T SERVE HER DISH. Again she is saved because she is a little bitch and when Richard calls her out on it Jaime gets all offended. Dude, he is just saying what everyone else in the country is thinking. Gail calls Tiffany’s salad flaccid and the 10 year old inside me giggled for a little bit. Ultimately Spike has to go home and I am sad because I liked him. I wish the judges saw Jaime hiding and sent her home for being a PAB.

So that is Episode 4 of Top Chef. What did you guys think? Jaime a punk ass bitch? Did Padma’s necklace distract you as well. Let me know, I would love to hear your thoughts.


P.S. You should all read Gail’s blog on EW and also all the bonus clips on Hulu/


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