Monday, January 10, 2011

Top Chef 8:05- Dim Sum Nightmare

So after cooling off from Wednesday night’s Top Chef results (as well as reading both of Gail’s blogs as well as Tom’s) I am ready to write this recap for y’all. But it’s the 100th Episode GUYS. In TV world that means syndication, so lets go on with the show!

Stew Room Pt.1: Everyone is in the Stew Room stewing over Spikes departure in the last episode. Antonia says that Angelo needs to fix his “chef Tourettes” and get his hands out of people’s dishes. Just give him some of the pot you “only smoked in HS” ;) and that should cure him. Blais then continues his bitching about Jaime lack of cooking (as does the rest of the country) and then compares her to and Octopus. I was with you for a bit Richard but you completely lost me with the octopus reference. The only thing I think of when I hear octopus "awe, you guys made me ink" from Finding Nemo.

Quick Fire: Padma is wearing a shirt straight out of the circus to announce this week’s QF challenge. Tom Colicchio walks out as the surprise/guest chef for this challenge in all his shiny bald headed glory. He has to cook a dish as quick as he can, and whatever that time is the cheftestants have to cook a dish in that time as well. After almost killing Padma with a tray of cut of fish (which Tiffany and Carla could not look happier about) he manages to finish his dish in 8:37.

The chefs gather around the dish like Hyena’s trying to get their chance to taste the Famous Tom Colicchio’s 8 minute dish. Now the chefs have to cook in the quickest quickity quick quick Quick Fire to date. Marcel grabs Tom’s leftover fish to avoid the mad dash to the fridge and even Tre called this move “freakin’ awesome.” In the end though Mike Isabella wins and for the first time in quite a while the award isn’t $10,000. Don’t worry though Bravo does not want you to think they are cheap so they just gave Isabella a car. No biggie. Jaime makes the comment “I think speed’s important in different contexts. I’ve dated people who are fast I might be construed as fast.” Well, um, I don’t think I’m gonna touch that one. Angelo loses because he was being (according to Gail Simmon’s blog) cocky and did not actually cook anything.

Jalapeño Bra?: I had no idea where to put this, but I had to mention this scene. I really am not 100% sure of what went down in this here, but this is my interpretation. As per usual, the chefs are getting their drank on in their loft. The girls are talking about bras. Antonia gets jalepeno in her eye and goes to the sink to wash it out. Tiffani takes off her bra and randomly puts it in Antonia’s face. The boys clear out with Mike Isabella saying “we’re out of here, their rubbing faces with bras.” I am not sure what Mike is thinking, but if I heard there were girls rubbing their bras in other girls faces, “clearing the room” would not be the first thing that came to my mind. (I couldn't get a good screencap of this, believe me I wish I could).

Elimination: The chefs now have to head to China Town and make Dim Sum in a busy popular Chinese restaurant. On top of that, they also have to work as one team. Already this challenge has disaster written all over it. To add to the fun the chefs have to go shopping for their food at a Chinese grocery store where no one speaks English. At this Chinese grocery store Fabio has a mini emotional breakdown when he sees a tank full of turtles. He proceeds by tells this heartwarming tale about his pet turtle:
Fabio: When I moved to the United States, I bought a little turtle. She’s a princess. Once or twice a week I take her for a walk. I have a little Chihuahua leash that I tie around her shell and tie up to the chairs so she just go back and forth. Now these guys are cutting turtle to make turtle soup and that’s mean!”

You tell them Fabio. Also Jaime decides that she is going to scallops. It’s de ja scallops, I feel like I am back to season 5. Apparently so does Fabio who brings back the lovely “It’s not Top Scallop” quote. Fabio, you are on a role tonight.

When they get to the restaurant, the chefs begin to struggle off the bat due because of the setting of the kitchen. On top of the appliances not being up to their standards, everyone is plating as though they are in a 5 star restaurant. Too bad they don’t have time to do that since there are 250 hungry diners upstairs. The whole point of this challenge was to cook quickly and serve food; Tom even said it after the QF challenge. The only people able to get their food out quickly were Dale and Angelo. Dale even had enough time to shine his shoes (dude is he wearing clogs?)

If you thought that this situation looked really awkward and tense on screen, you should read Gail and Tom’s blog about what it was like being there. It was 10x more awkward than you could imagine. None of the food is ready and no one is moving fast and the only people that are getting food in the dining area are the judges. Everyone in the dining room is starving and not getting any food at all. They are angry and people are threatening to leave. Apparently people were stealing food off the carts as they were being brought to the judges table. I think the only time in my Top Chef viewing history that I was happy I was NOT a judge.

Judges Table: This week the bottom FIVE chefs were called first which included Antonia, Casey, Carla, Jaime and Tre. Jaime had not one but two bad dishes this week. I think it is to make up for the zero bad dishes she had last episode due to the fact she did not ACTUALLY SERVE FOOD! They didn’t like her scallop dumplings (surprise surprise) and thought her long bean dish was basically “bad American takeout” which had been sitting out for hours. Although the judges loved Anotonia’s Shrimp Toast, she was in the bottom because of Jaime’s horrendous cooking of the long beans. Fortunately though Antonia only prepped the dish and therefore did not contribute to it tasting like crap. Tre’s desert, which was supposed to be cold and firm got ripped apart for being liquidy and gross. Carla got reprimanded for her dish being bland and being more occupied with making it look pretty. Ultimately though, the chef to go home was the lovely Casey, who left her Chicken Feet and Waffle dish in the hand of Antonia while she was taming the angry Chinese diners on the floor. Apparently the dish was cooked so bad that the judges weren’t able to judge it, because they couldn’t eat it. I guess it is better to eat something that tastes like complete doo doo then not being able to eat the food at all. I am bitter and want Jaime off PRONTO.

In happier news the top four chefs were Angelo, Fabio, Tiffany and Dale with Dale as the winner. All the judges made sure to pat lil’ old Fabio on the back though for being able to cook something that was not Italian.

Sorry for the delay. Expect my Grey’s recap in the next three days.


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