Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Weeds 7x01: Dime Bags to Grenades

Danbury, CT: Three years have passes since last season’s finale and Nancy Botwin is in a Federal Prison in Danbury, CT. She struts into her parole hearing sporting a green jump suit, glasses and a pair of messy pigtails.

Even though Nancy has served less than half of her sentence, she is eligible to be let out. Nancy is understandably upset when the officers reveal that she will be released to a halfway house instead of witness protection, as she was promised.

Saturday, June 25, 2011

Pretty Little Liars 2x02: "Time Lords and Green Houses"

The Greenhouse Effect:  A door eerily slams as the Liars huddle together in the magical greenhouse. Vines hang down from the ceiling, ready strangle them; this is one of the many obstacles the Liars must defeat if they want to obtain the Philosopher’s Stone. Wait, sorry; this is not a magical greenhouse, just a normal creepy abandoned one. Rocks start storming down from the sky onto the glass ceiling and the Liars make the smart decision of evacuating the building.

On their stroll home they spy the newly cast Jason DiLaurentis throwing every single belonging in his house into recycling bins. (Hey, at least he recycles) How did Jason get his old house back? Did Maya’s parents want out of the haunted house so badly that they gave it to him? Did he buy the house because of all its precious memories? The Liars let that mystery go because they have too many mysteries in their life as it is. 

Thursday, June 16, 2011

Pretty Little Liars 2x01: "It's Alive" and Most Likely Ian

We are back. The show we have all been waiting for has finally aired its second season premier and all is right in the world. For this first time in my life I actually found myself saying “Praise the Lord. All is right in the world.”

Rosewood’s Finest- The PLLs are standing in a semi-circle trying to process the whole “A pushed Ian into a ropes course which strangled him but now his dead body is missing” situation.  Did anyone else notice how perfectly gorgeous Emily’s cheekbones were in this scene? They were beautiful. Garret (the corrupt policeman dating Jenna) informs the girls he needs to drive them to the police station.  Even though there is another cop car right in front of his, Garret decides to sneakily pull into a dark abandoned alley to have a private chat with the girls.
Once safely out of the possibly bugged car, he informs them that they need to keep the blackmailing Ian thing a secret because it is super illegal. The girls are all like “Gotta Secret? We can keep it. Swear this one we’ll save.” On the corner of the street Jenna is standing and listening to their super secret conversation with her supersonic hearing.  Later, when Jenna and Garret reconnect in to do some surveillance, Garret starts freaking out and goes “If anyone finds out about the Jason thing.” What? There is a Jason thing? How many things happen in this town? Jenna calms Garret down by tell him that this secret won’t get out because they’ll take this one to the grave.

Thursday, June 9, 2011

Bones- 6x23 “The Change in the Game”

So I know this is super late. I realized I forgot to post this recap ages ago! Better late than never right?

Bowling with Kids: Just so you know, the most direct way into my heart is television and bowling. That is why, when Bones opening scene was a bowling alley birthday party, I was gleeful beyond belief. If bowling alone was not enough to get me hooked, the mother of the bratty birthday boy is Libby from Sabrina the Teenage Witch. It takes .2 seconds for Libby’s Westbridge High bitchiness to come out as she threatens her son to behave. Next thing you know the 8 and 10 pin, along with a dead body, descend from the pin setting machine; a split so difficult not even a dead body could spare it.

Baby Drama: Hodgins and Angela are at the Royal Diner and Angela complains that she is 2 days overdue. If memory serves me correct, last episode Angela had a month until her due date which means this episode takes place a full month after last week’s. While discussing how to handle the possible blindness of their baby to be, Angela drenches her fries with hot sauce in hopes to induce labor.  She begins chowin’ down those fries like it is nbd. Feeling his manhood fade away with each fry Angela puts in her mouth, Hodgins adds a splash of hot sauce to his own plate. Unfortunately he is not able to handle the heat and begins to choke.

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

Beware: Five Shows Not to Watch During Dinner!

Have you ever sat down in front of the TV excited to watch an amazing hour of television accompanied by a delicious mouth watering meal? Has that meal ever been ruined due to the fact that the stories told or images on the screen made you sick to your stomach? You are now forced to either a) stop eating b) stop watching or c) keep eating and watching without being able to enjoy either! After having this happen to me way too many times, I have decided to help out the world and advise you on the top five shows not to watch while eating.

5) Law and Order: SVU- I love this show. I love Benson, I love Stabler, and most of all I love Alex Cabot. That said there are very few things that make me as ill as pedophilia and rape. The show is not as graphic as many others; we do not often see people getting tortured or raped. What makes my stomach churn while watching SVU is how it reveals the darkest side of human nature. There are episodes that are burned into my brain that, when I think about years after, still make me feel queasy. One of these episodes is called “Slaves” where a man keeps a teenage girl in a box only to take her out to torture and rape her. Watch at your own discretion.