Pretty Little Liars 2x01: "It's Alive" and Most Likely Ian

We are back. The show we have all been waiting for has finally aired its second season premier and all is right in the world. For this first time in my life I actually found myself saying “Praise the Lord. All is right in the world.”

Rosewood’s Finest- The PLLs are standing in a semi-circle trying to process the whole “A pushed Ian into a ropes course which strangled him but now his dead body is missing” situation.  Did anyone else notice how perfectly gorgeous Emily’s cheekbones were in this scene? They were beautiful. Garret (the corrupt policeman dating Jenna) informs the girls he needs to drive them to the police station.  Even though there is another cop car right in front of his, Garret decides to sneakily pull into a dark abandoned alley to have a private chat with the girls.

Once safely out of the possibly bugged car, he informs them that they need to keep the blackmailing Ian thing a secret because it is super illegal. The girls are all like “Gotta Secret? We can keep it. Swear this one we’ll save.” On the corner of the street Jenna is standing and listening to their super secret conversation with her supersonic hearing.  Later, when Jenna and Garret reconnect in to do some surveillance, Garret starts freaking out and goes “If anyone finds out about the Jason thing.” What? There is a Jason thing? How many things happen in this town? Jenna calms Garret down by tell him that this secret won’t get out because they’ll take this one to the grave.

Parent Intervention: After a long night of interrogation, by the always sharp Rosewood P.D., the girls have a slumber party at the Hastings Mansion.  As the girls walk down the staircase to get their daily caffeine fix they are confronted by something they have never seen before: their parents, all in the same room, concerned about their wellbeing. (I know crazy!) Hanna asks her mom what is going on and Ashley Marin (staying true to her parenting style) passes the talking stick to Mrs. Hastings in order to get the ball rolling. They tell the girls that they need to go to grief counseling together because they are seriously starting to sound like crazy people. The parents apparently had a ton of time to practice their speech because after one adult recites his/her line the next one seamlessly continues. Next thing you know, with the worst timing in the history of timing, there is a knock on the living room door and Toby is on the other end.  Everyone’s head turns and Mr. Hastings kicks him out telling Toby, that due to his reputation, he is not to have contact with his murderess daughter. Toby’s parents feel the same because when Spencer goes to pay Toby a visit Jenna greets her with “get the f off my porch or my parents will shoot you.”

Mr. Fitz: The girls are in for two big surprises when they walk into English on Monday. First, some pranksters in their class cleverly drew a “Hangman” game on the chalkboard as such:

See what they did, they reference Ian’s hanging AND the girls being liars. I found this quite funny. While Fitz quickly tries to erase the graffiti from the board, the ever so cunning Noel Kahn struts through the door. His suspension is apparently over and the school decided to put him right back into Mr. Fitz’s English class.  

Group Therapy:  Spencer, Emily and Aria are sitting in the therapist’s spacious and nicely decorated office waiting for Hanna to arrive.  Finally Hanna walks in with four shopping bags worth of clothes funded by either Lasagna Box or Cupcake Binging money. The therapy session gets super awkward super quickly.  Aria turns to look at the other girls and asks if they want to talk about “That Thing?” How does everyone know what “thing” Aria is referring to? There are so many “things.” There was the “Jenna Thing,” now apparently there is the “Jason Thing” and we also have the whole “A Thing.” Luckily the girls are saved from deciding what “thing” to discuss when all of their cell phones ring, and the therapy session is magically over.

Caleb in the House: Finally, after taking a road trip from PA to AZ and back, Lucas brings Caleb back to Rosewood.  When Hanna comes home after her shopping excursion and therapy session, she is surprised to see her mom and Caleb chatting it up over a glass of white wine.  Hanna forbids Caleb from looking and smiling at her because doing so makes her heart flutter and break all at the same time. He tells her that he did write a letter for her confessing his love and his regrets, but Mona ripped it up and poured a slushie over the remains.  Hanna is shocked, especially because she and Mona made up earlier in the episode. She tells Caleb to cut his hair that they are not going get back together because he got paid to snoop around her room. Next Hanna storms into Luke’s Diner to tell give Mona a piece of her mind.

Mona tries to explain that she threw away the letter to save Hanna’s heart from more pain but Hanna is not having it. She breaks up with Mona for the millionth time and dramatically accuses Mona of hurting her more than Caleb did. The quarrel is interrupted when the evil Noel Kahn brushes past Hanna to give Mona a smooch and apologize for his tardiness. What? It has only been 3 days since the last episode in Rosewood Time, when the HELL did this pairing happen?!?

Let Emily Stay!: Emily is laying on her bed watching the creepy, creepy footage of Jenna sexually harassing Toby only to look into her mirror and see a creepy man she has never met standing in her doorway. Luckily this was just a realtor her mother hired to help sell the house and not a murder or something worse, like say A.

Spencer: Wow. This scene was just wow.  First we get a view of Spencer straightening out her collar from the perspective only a mirror is usually granted. Spencer decides that, nay, this purple half-buttoned down collared shirt is not the perfect shirt for this occasion.  As she struts to her closet, back faced to the camera, she pulls her shirt of her head. Apparently Spencer Hastings does not wear a bra when she goes out anymore. Seriously, twitter went WILD during this scene!   

She searches around her closet and slips on a lacy black shirt and I am jolted back into reality when her phone beeps from a text Toby sent. Apparently she was getting dressed up to see Toby and not me.  Spencer is jolted into reality when Melissa enters her room. She tells Mel that is she is going to study at Emily’s so she can’t have a heart to heart with her crazy ass sister right now. Proving that Melissa is as sharp as any of those Rosewood PD members, she deduces that Spencer is not getting all dressed up just to study with Emily (although we all wish that were true). She tells Spencer spends times with Toby it is okay with her. To prove that Melissa wants a cease fire in the Hastings sibling war, she reveals to Spence that the baby is going to named Taylor whether a boy or girl (like Taylor Swift and Taylor Lautner). She then asks Spencer to go over what happened with Ian in the Bell Tower.  Spencer decides to stay home and talk with her sister and ditch Toby for the day. Although Toby was upset, he was able to make good use of this extra time by rekindling his friendship with Ms. Emily Fields. 

I Spy Fitz: Aria goes over to Ezra’s apartment and is greeted by a shirtless Mr. Fitz.

Wow, someone has been doing crunches and planks during their hiatus. Aria tries to be a gentleman and look at Ezra’s eye when talking (remember those beautiful lovely eyes she texted her mom about) but her eyes keep drifted down to the six pack.

The two start talking about his failed engagement, and  I am already a bit tired of this storyline. As Aria leaves Fitz’s apartment she gets a text from A including a picture of Ezra’s apartment asking “what’s missing?”

The girls get together and dissect the meaning of the cryptic text. Hanna announces “Aha, I spy with my little eye a Playboy on your boyfriend’s desk.”  Aria is confused thinking “they only have girls over 18 posing in magazines like that,” but Spencer clears everything up by clarifying what Hanna actually saw was a typewriter and Hanna was probably meant to say Playbill. 

Therapy Take Two: Emily throw out the idea to tell their therapist all about the craziness also known as the truth. She says “She is a Therapist she HAS to keep it private.” Come on girls, you should know better than that.  Do you not remember that time you broke into a therapists office to steal Jenna’s confidential files? Do you also not remember your attempt to “destroy” those files by throwing them into a river? (Seriously one of the worst plans these girls have ever had!) Apparently they do not remember that little incident so they somehow get their therapist to schedule a session with them that same day.

Before revealing anything they ask Ann (the therapist) for reassurance that nothing they say leaves her beautiful office. Emily pulls out her laptop to show the video of A stalking them and Toby as Aria starts to give a background of the whole “A Thing.” Just before Aria gets to any of the juicy bits , Spencer Spy’s with her little eye Ezra’s framed diploma on Ann’s shelf and cuts Aria off.  How doe Therapist Ann not realize that there is another person’s diploma in her office? Anyway Spencer goes “um this was premature, we have to go” as Hanna slithers over and slips an entire diploma into her purse. (A tree, she removed an entire tree!)  

The Secret Garden: Therapist Ann calls the responsible parents of our Pretty Little Liars’, and informs them that the group needs some time apart. For their own good of course. Being the awesome, on top of their game, parents that they are, this rule is enforced for about 2 seconds.  After safely sneaking Toby back out of her house, Spencer reads a text on Melissa’s phone from someone super suspicious. Someone that is possibly, very well may be, the supposedly dead Ian. Spencer shines her Bat-Signal into the sky so the other PLL’s know that she is in distress and the come a running.  They meet at their new rendezvous point, an old abandoned Green House, and try to figure out if it actually is Ian on the other end. Using her Scooby skills she asks him a question on Ian would know “What is the name of your evil spawn growing inside my sister?” The texter answers correctly and everyone is spooked. 

What did you all think? Let me know!

APB