Friday, July 29, 2011

Pretty Little Liars 2x07: "You Don't Just Bury Field Hockey Sticks that Aren't Murder Weapons"

The Marin CafĂ©: 
The girls gather at Hanna’s house to drink from her ever flowing coffee fountain. Hanna can’t hold in her excitement over the fact that a random pipe burst in the guest bedroom forcing her and Emily to sleep in the same room.  Hanna is all like “Emily, we can have a never ending sleepover. Mona used to ask me for them all the time. She’d want us stay in bed all day in our underwear and wife-beaters. Weird huh?” 

The door bells rings and Hanna walks in with a gift basket from A.

Hanna bitches that if A is going to torture them she should at least have the decency to send quality chocolate and then throws the chocolate in the trash. Dude, you would have really regretted that if Emily wasn’t living in your house as your personal chef.  The girls come to 2 earth shattering conclusions.

1) A’s goal is no longer to just make them look like bitches.
2) A could have possibly been the person to kill Allison.

Sunday, July 24, 2011

Awkward 1x01 "Putting the Awesome in Awkward"

I was skeptical about the new show Awkward for a few reasons. One was that I am very awkward myself, and I am uncomfortable watching other people be awkward (see my Parks and Recreation post). Another reason was because MTV’s last teen comedy, Skins US, was such a bust. I have to say, I was more than pleasantly surprised when I watch the series premier Tuesday.  The show was the perfect mix of funny, awkward, over-the-top and realistic. Jenna Hamilton is the female version of Seth Cohen, but less self deprecating and more self aware. I have only known her for 20 minutes of my life, and I am already in love. Okay, onto the episode at hand:

We begin at Camp Pookah’s afternoon dance where “the dorks were getting crunk and the rest of us were getting drunk.”   Jenna is sitting in the corner drinking her cool-kid spiked punch staring at the beautifully hunky Matty. The two proceed with an utterly unique mating ritual, beginning with male. Matty points at Jenna, accompanied by a wink, and then proceeds to sniff under his arms (proving his male dominance). It is now Jenna’s turn in this mating dance. Having already decided that Matty is a suitable mate, Jenna spills punch on the camper sitting in front of her. This lets Matty know that it is time to move things into the janitor's closet.

Friday, July 8, 2011

Pretty Little Liars 2x04: "The Not So Lucky Horseshoe"

Last week my older sister told me that she’s scared to watch Pretty Little Liars  alone. I made fun of her and said she was ridiculous; the show is not THAT scary. This week, I had to eat my words as I hid my head under my blanket in fear of A.

Other Side of Town: The Liars travel to the other side of the tracks to buy back Melissa’s pawned engagement ring. While Spencer goes inside to deal with the pawn broker, the other girls stand in the creepy dumpy back alley, where the pawn show resides. For the occasion, Aria has decided to dress up in her ghetto attire. She replaced the bird in her hair with a bandana, put some big ass hoop earrings in her ears and sported a lime green jacket.

Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Weeds 7x02: "Trading Bombs for Weed"

Good things that happened Monday July 4th: Fireworks, Musical Performances, Barbeques.
Bad things that happened Monday July 4th: This week’s episode of Weeds. The show has not sold me on any of the plotlines (except, maybe, for Silas’ modeling career).

Nancy’s No Good Rotten Day: While Nancy is trying to fall asleep in her new abode, her roommate is having food phone sex. That was one of the most disturbing conversations I have ever heard. I will never be able to think of chunks of fruit the same way EVER AGAIN. Just as my ears start bleeding, Nancy grabs the phone from her roommate’s hand and throws the battery out the window. She needs rest for tomorrow’s illegal activities.

The next morning Counselor Ed tells Nancy that she has an interview at a lamp repair shop. Nancy rambles on to Counselor Ed until he gives her extra time out of the house and then he tells her she can’t wear her normal slutty clothes to the interview. Instead she has to wear a dress suit circa 1983, donated by a Korean church. This outfit was god awful. I know that was the point, but still, were those gold tights necessary. They were disgusting.

Saturday, July 2, 2011

Pretty Little Liars 2x03: "My Name is Anita"

Black and Whites: The Pretty Little Liars sit in the empty Rosewood Theatre watching a black and white movie (the type that Emily even likes). All of a sudden, a hooded man with a hook pops up in the back of the theater and screams “I Know What You Did Last Summer!” Turns out it was just one of Spencer’s nightmares. That does not matter though. What DOES matter, more than anything in the universe, is that Melissa’s wedding ring is missing, and must be found immediately.

No Dairy: Hanna struts into the kitchen wearing a dress stolen from Spencer’s wardrobe and is greeted by her parents having a hardy morning chuckle (not a sexual innuendo).
Tom is still in town and staying at the Rosewood Inn. The situation gets real serious when Hanna realizes her mom bought non-dairy creamer for Tom.  Hanna tells her mom to that anything Tom Riddle does from here on out should be Isabel’s problem and not theirs.  Ashley puts on her parenting hat and tells Hanna that “Just because someone hurts us once doesn’t mean you delete them from your phone book.” Hanna just responds with “Dude, A has hit me with a freaking car and I still can’t get her out of my phonebook.”