Friday, July 29, 2011

Pretty Little Liars 2x07: "You Don't Just Bury Field Hockey Sticks that Aren't Murder Weapons"

The Marin Café: 
The girls gather at Hanna’s house to drink from her ever flowing coffee fountain. Hanna can’t hold in her excitement over the fact that a random pipe burst in the guest bedroom forcing her and Emily to sleep in the same room.  Hanna is all like “Emily, we can have a never ending sleepover. Mona used to ask me for them all the time. She’d want us stay in bed all day in our underwear and wife-beaters. Weird huh?” 

The door bells rings and Hanna walks in with a gift basket from A.

Hanna bitches that if A is going to torture them she should at least have the decency to send quality chocolate and then throws the chocolate in the trash. Dude, you would have really regretted that if Emily wasn’t living in your house as your personal chef.  The girls come to 2 earth shattering conclusions.

1) A’s goal is no longer to just make them look like bitches.
2) A could have possibly been the person to kill Allison.

Didn’t we already know both of these things? Last season A hit Hanna with a car. I am pretty sure that was not for the sole purpose of “making Hanna look like a bitch.” And for the second item on the list, come on guys, you should have been able to come to that conclusion AGES ago.

Early Morning Shenanigans: 
Mamma Montgomery tells Aria that they are going to have their first dinner party since Ella moved back home. Byron and Ella are excited that Mr. Ezra Fitz may come to their Magical Dinner Party. They tell Aria that it is totally cool to have Ezra over now that no longer her teacher; no more conflict of interest here kids. Mike storms out of his room with a big black cloud over his head and before Ella can get his attentions he flies out the door. Aria ensures her mother that it will all be okay. Ella does not have to worry about her son being shady and sketchy and a criminal; Mike eats food at school, so everything is okay with him.

Hanna and Ashley walk downstairs confused and amazed. What is this strange but lovely smell coming from their kitchen? The last time they smelled anything from their kitchen was when they made Money Lasagna.  Turns out Emily had whipped some egg white omelets with freshly squeezed orange juice, fresh herbs, fruit salad and toast.

She also managed to schedule in a morning run and a shower all before the Marin women even walked down the stairs. Look at those napkins; that folding is impressive. Emily, you are becoming your mother, which really is a compliment. 

Aria finds time to run to Hollis before her school day. She needs to discuss the dinner party with Fitz in his very spacious and well furnished assistant professor office. Ezra apologizes profusely about his refusal to come out during a funeral, and says “I don’t want your father to see our relationship as a teacher sleeping with his student. I would rather him see us and think ‘oh look, my co-worker is sleeping with my underage daughter.’ We have to take baby steps in our coming out process and this dinner party is exactly the right time to take that first baby step. ” Aria is totally on board with Ezra’s logic and skips off to Rosewood High.

Although I am pretty sure he stormed out of his house just a few minutes ago, Mike is back in his room doing some homework. Sometimes the space time continuum on this show is just too confusing. Byron wants to make sure that his son, who is ditching school at the moment, will show up to tonight’s dinner party. Mike looks at his dad through a car’s right side mirror on his desk and says in a low rebellious voice “I’m Busy.”

Byron convinces Mike to get “unbusy” and we Mike watches his father exit through that car mirror again. 

The Hastings Field Hockey Stick:
A rare father/daughter interaction occurs over at the Hastings estate. Peter tries to make up for ignoring his younger daughter all season by hiring her boyfriend to do some random yard work for the house. In truth though, he has forced Jason to stop building the fence between the DiLaurentis and Hastings property and he feels bad about Toby losing his job. Either way, Toby is now Spencer’s yard boy which is pretty hawt.

Spencer goes to her backyard and offers to make Toby  a grilled cheese for breakfast with a side of a delicious Hastings apple. Before Toby and Spencer have to chance to “make breakfast together” Peter comes to check on Toby’s progress. Toby takes this chance to show Peter some sketches he has drawn of how the Hastings should remodel their barn and backyard.

They are pretty impressive, especially since Toby has only had this job for one day. Truthfully though, Toby spends most of his day walking to and from the Hastings’ back door, so it makes sense he knows it well. 

Later in the day, Taby unearths a splintered field hockey stick on the Hastings property line. The blue fh stick had a white piece of athletic tape on the shaft labeled “Hastings” in black sharpie marker.

Mr. Hastings apparates right next to Toby and grabs the stick from his hand. His eyes are all shifty and he goes “I’ll take care of this murder weapon field hockey stick.” (**Personal interjection: this is really funny to me because my town is called Hastings, and I played Field Hockey. So it is weird when I see “Hastings Field Hockey Stick.” ** )

Like a good boyfriend, Toby immediately runs to Spencer and tells her about the buried hockey stick. Spencer realizes it is the same stick she leant to Allison the summer she died. In the flashback Aria and Spencer can’t figure out why Allison is interested in field hockey all of a sudden, and Allison is like “maybe I like someone who plays field hockey.” Spencer says that only girls play field hockey (which is true in the US but not everywhere here is an awesome video of Men’s Field Hockey). Out of nowhere Jason  appears at the Hastings/DiLaurentis property line and threatens to hit Allison with the stick. Back in present day time, Jason is back to suspect #1 on  Spencer’s “Who can be A” list.

Spencer walks downstairs and finds her father standing in front of the fireplace with her old field hockey stick in hand. First of all the stick probably has fiberglass in it, so that is pretty stupid Mr. Hastings. Second, you are a creepy creepy man Mr. Hastings.  Spencer begs her father not to burn the stick; it could be evidence. Mr. Hastings turns to his daughter, his face sunken and defeated and goes “I’m tired, your mother is tired.” Really? What are you tired from Peter? It is not like you have been a parent to either of your children in the last 2 years. Also let’s not kid, your wife doesn’t do shit. 

Parent Intervention
Ella stops by the Marin residence to discuss their children recent “issues”.  What they really discuss is their love for each other. Here is the dialogue between the two women (with a few words edited out here and there you know).

Ella: “I don’t think this just started. I think it has been going on for a while and we are just now noticing it.”
Ashlee: “I think you are right”
Ella: “You do?”
Ashlee: “It's easy to see connection where there are connections.”
Ella:  “I just knew if I didn’t speak about this, my head was going to explode. And I didn’t want to do this over the phone. “
Ashlee:  “I think we rolled over way to quickly on that therapist deal. I am not going to do that again”
Ella: “It seemed to make sense at the time.”

See, they were scared that Allison and Hanna may have known about their secret love so they went to therapy to deal. Also they blame Peter Hastings for everything that has recently gone wrong in their children’s lives. 

Upstairs in the “no boy zone” Hanna finally pushes Caleb for more details about his illegal operation. He reveals that two years ago he was living in Allentown. They were tearing all the factories down. And it was getting very hard to stttaaayyyy, so he became a prostitute. Actually he was part of a car theft ring which was very hardcore. So pimping a highschooler’s phones is nothing compared to his old crime life

Dinner Party:
Aria stops by her mom’s classroom to say a quick hello, and is surprised to see Ella chatting it up with Mr. Jason DiLaurentis. Jason explains that he is at the school to talk to the guidance school. He is starting a program called “It Gets Better” to show stoners that there is a life past high school. It seems that Ella has also invited Jason to the dinner party. Uh oh, Ezra AND Jason at the dinner party. What is Aria to do?

The Dinner Party has finally arrived, and man is it a rager. Ezra is the first of Aria’s suitors to arrive. He brought with him a flower bouquet to impress his companion’s mother and a bottle of aged scotch to prove his maturity to his companion’s father. Aria is impressed with Ezra’s effort and points out that Ezra hates scotch. Do you think that Ezra and Aria ever drink together? Maybe he has morals and draws the line at serving students (and minors) alcohol. Next Jason knocks on the door with an even bigger bouquet than Ezra, but no bottle of scotch. Hmm… the competition is ON. 

The boys sit in the living room, comparing whose bike trip was longer until the police pay a visit to the Montgomery’s door. Barry the policeman informs Ella and Byron that Mike has been picked up for breaking and entering. Aria eyes search for Jason, the only other person in the world who knows about Mike’s criminal history. She is scared for her younger brother. Ezra watches, like a sad sad puppy, while Jason and Aria have eye sex. Ella and Byron then go to pick up Mike, leaving Aria in charge of the party. The boys decide to stay and help Aria clean up and ferociously fight for her undivided attention. Jason wins this battle, because he has more insight into the whole Mike situation. He tells her to search his room to see what else Mike may have stolen. She runs up to her brother’s room and finds the dancing light ceramic pot Jenna made in pottery class.

Aria blames herself for Mike’s demise. If only she hadn't been such a drama queen; if only she didn't wear birds in her hair; if only she wasn't dating her teacher, maybe Mike would have gotten the attention he deserved.

Aria freaks the fuck out when Mike arrives home. She is all like “Dude, you crossed the line when you stole from a blind girl.” Mike is dumbfounded, “A blind girl? Psh, come on Aria you know Jennabots room is impenetrable. I stole that from Officer Garrett. I was looking for a gun but he didn’t have one. All I got was a stupid GPS.” Big sister Aria (the one who was just super concerned about Mike’s welfare) glosses over the whole gun confession and only sees the connection between Jenna and Garrett. Important: Jenna and Garrett in cahoots Not Important: Younger brother trying to steal a gun from a cop.

Garrett the Creepy: 
Toby and Spencer meet at their secret kissing rock overlooking the Stars Hollow. Spencer is a mess because she is beginning to realize that her father thinks she is just a huge attention whore (which I guess is better than murderer). The two start brainstorming ways to figure out who A really is. He tells her that the cops probably have in their reports what the murder weapon is. If they can find that out, they can see if Mr. Hastings just destroyed a murder weapon in his fireplace. I have said this before, and I will say it again--- Toby NEEDS to be invited to the Scooby Meetings. They would be so much more productive!

Spencer meets up with Garrett in a dark alley to discuss Allison’s murder weapon. She asks the following questions: “What killed Allison,” “What could the murder weapon be,” and  “Could it be a blunt object that looks just like a field hockey by someone the same height and weight as Jason?” Garrett looks at Spencer “I am going to say it three times and click my heels and maybe it will get through your thick skull “There is no killer but Ian, There is no killer but Ian, there is no killer but Ian. Say it now with me Spencer. There is n…” Only to be interrupted by Spencer screaming out “I don’t think Ian did it.” Before Spencer can reveal any more, she gets a text from Aria which reads “Garrett and Jenna sitting in a tree. Don’t Trust Garrett.” Great timing Aria, you just became a Time Lord.

Ending Credits:  A is spiking Emily’s meds while “I’ve got you under my skin” is playing in the background.  Every week I say to myself “wow that was the creepiest thing A has done, there is no way A can top herself next week.” Well, A, every week you prove me wrong, you are the creepiest person in the world.

What did you guys think of this episode. I am so scared for next week. I know Emily won't die but I am still scared. STOP HURTING EMILY! It is time for Aria to get in on the action. When was the last time Aria's life was put in danger?

What did you guys think? Let me know below!



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