Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Weeds 7x01: Dime Bags to Grenades

Danbury, CT: Three years have passes since last season’s finale and Nancy Botwin is in a Federal Prison in Danbury, CT. She struts into her parole hearing sporting a green jump suit, glasses and a pair of messy pigtails.

Even though Nancy has served less than half of her sentence, she is eligible to be let out. Nancy is understandably upset when the officers reveal that she will be released to a halfway house instead of witness protection, as she was promised.

Nancy storms back into her cell where her cellmate, Zoya, is casually reading. Nancy is freaking the fuck out as she tells Zoya what just happened which, in turn, causes Zoya to freak out. After a few seconds, Zoya is able to calm both herself and Nancy down. She grabs Nancy’s face and tells her she loves her in Russian. Nancy reciprocates Zoya’s declaration of love and the two share a passionate kiss.

It was pretty hot. I am totally not surprised that Nancy had a fling with her cellmate in jail. Nancy is horrible at keeping her sexual frustration at bay. She has slept with nearly every person she has worked with. On Nancy’s way out Zoya hands her a pair of old grey oven mitts saying that “those mitts are the key to our future.”

Copenhagen, Denmark: Three years have also passed in Copenhagen, Denmark, where the rest of the Botwin clan is residing. A Danish woman, Renada, yells at Shane from her bedroom window. Apparently wouldn’t commit to being her baby daddy, so she throws all his belongings out of the second floor window. Shane, please never pass your psychopathic genes onto a new generation! The camera pans and we see a billboard ad for “Hyldeblomst Super Ja” featuring Silas in a speedo. In the past three years Silas has become the spokesperson for a Danish flower drink and has been living the highlife. Late nights parties and women do have a downside though; they cause massive pimples.

(Yes the background ad is a picture of Silas with flowers covering his crotch)

Andy is, well, I am not exactly sure what Andy is doing. I have watched the episode three and am still not sure. From what I was able to piece together he runs tours in The Free State of Christiania which is a “pusher street” (Tina Fey Mean Girls flashback). Andy is running a campaign to be the leader of Christiania; he is a local character in this mini-country, the hippie civilians even call him “Bike Andy.” Doug informs him that he believes they are saying “Bi Andy” which is highly probable due to his silky shaven legs.

Halfway House: Nancy carries her clear plastic bag of belongings into her the halfway house. When she arrives, she is told that she has a male visitor waiting for her in the office. My heart starts speeding; is Esteban waiting for her. Is he going to kill her? It turns out Lipschitz is the man waiting for her and, for the first time ever, he brings with him good news. Esteban had been killed in prison so she no longer needs witness protection. He also brought with him all of her clothes so, in true Nancy style, she strips off her ratty sweat suit and replaces it with a purple dress and denim jacket.Only fourteen minutes in and we have seen Nancy make out with her cellmate and strip down to her bra and panties. I would say this is a good start to the season.

Nancy’s first stop in her 2 hours of freedom is an internet café. She calls her cunt of a sister to see how Stevie is doing. Jill tells Nancy, Stevie is busy, but as soon as Jill walks away from the computer Stevie steps in front. The casting director did an amazing job of casting 3 year old Stevie; he looks very much like Esteban.

Nancy is overcome with emotion when she sees Stevie all grown up but her heart (along with mine) breaks when he calls her “Aunt Nancy.” Obviously Jill is trying to raise Stevie as her own. Jill, I hate you.

Family Decision: Jill calls the Botwin Boys in Copenhagen to let them know Nancy is out, although Nancy specifically asked her not to tell anyone. Jill won’t let the boys say hi to Stevie either (what a bitch) and hangs up to get ready for her Kegel class. Shane immediately searches for the next flight to NYC and starts packing for his flight. Andy starts freaking out about whether he should go too. The wheels in his head are spinning “Is this a test? Does Nancy love me? What would Nancy want me to do? Maybe I should do the opposite of what Nancy wants me to do? Nancy, why do you do this to me? I am not going to the US.” Shane interrupts Andy’s mental downward spiral and throws him a ticket to the US of A. Instantly, Andy agrees to help find Nancy. Shane also bought a ticket for Doug, but did not buy one for Silas (ugh, just leave Doug in Copenhagen). Silas has been screwed over by Nancy more than anyone else on the show. He always tries to do what is right for his family, and his mother, but Nancy always asks too much from him. It is understandable that he would not want to go, but he will end up going to find his mother. He is a good son; that is who he is.

Sveting Bullets: Since Jill hung up on Nancy after only 4 minutes, Nancy still has an hour and 56 minutes to kill. She decides the best way to spend this time is in a Russian Suana? The other woman in the sauna is eyeing her up and uses the best pickup line to date “You sweat good.” I hope this line becomes the next big thing. If I got hit on because of my sweating, I would be the most eligible bachelorette in the world. Nancy tries to get the creepy lesbian out of the sauna so she can conduct some sketchy business, but Ms. Creepy assumes Nancy wants to be naked and that is something she would not want to miss. Realizing that this woman is not going to give her privacy, and that if “she comes home late, she seals her fate,” Nancy decides to go about her business with witnesses. Nancy pulls Zoya’s oven mitts out of thin air and searches the pile of scorching hot rocks for a key. Ahh, this is all coming together now!

Nancy goes into a parking garage and opens the trunk of a beat up car. She finds a suitcase sitting in the trunk full of guns, grenades and other weaponry. Nancy zips back up the suitcase and starts to roll it back home.

What? Nancy, what are you doing? Where are you going to put those? An arms dealer is on a whole different level than drug dealing. Haven’t you ever watched Burn Notice.

Anyway, I thought this episode was a little slow. I have faith that it will pick up the pace as the season continues. What did you guys think of the episode? Let me know?



Anonymous said...

I personally don't like the new Nancy. From a dealing drugs to keep her life normal, to drug kingpin, and now arms dealer? I personally stopped liking her after she hooked up with Estaban.

Anonymous said...

The plot was awful! In real life, Nancy would have thrown out the oven mitts, and most certainly would not have brought them to a sauna, and most certainly would not have known to check the rocks for a key, and if she did, would not have known where the key goes, and if she did, would have had no use for a suitcase full of explosives. Plus the plot for the rest of the family in Europe was silly.

Alphabetsoup said...

Yeah, I was not a huge fan of the plot. The one storyline in Copenhagen that I liked was Andy's. I thought him trying to get elected in Christiana was hilarious

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